Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Randomize
