Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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