Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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