Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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