Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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