I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize