I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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