im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
