His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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