i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
