Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize