the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need water and some morals
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
