The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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