things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
