My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
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I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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