She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
