Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
as a side note pls kill me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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