fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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