I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But break dance skills will only take you so far
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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