just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
