Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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