so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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