I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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