Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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