It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
