Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
