dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
