I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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