I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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