we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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