She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
