I look better un-naked...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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