Soap is not a condiment
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
