Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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