How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
