i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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