His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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