We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
