He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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