I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
