last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
