The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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