wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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