Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize