your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
