best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
