am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The beer is more important than you right now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
