if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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