I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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