I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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