Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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