i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
