Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
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She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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