Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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