well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize