I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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